Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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