im drinking this country out of the recession.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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