I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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