Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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