If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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