you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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