When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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