Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Randomize
