my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
