If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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