i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
