Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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