I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
