I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
