I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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