i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
