Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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