Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
