So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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