My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
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