I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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