I just pynch a tree in the face
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
