Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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