Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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