I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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