how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
