p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
It's just like the Real World with babies
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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