i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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