If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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