No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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