i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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