Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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