Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
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