Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just cut my nipple shaving
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
