I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
