Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
