the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
