One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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