Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
