The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
