Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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