so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
