Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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