She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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