that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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