to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
how does that bad decision feel?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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