After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
