Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
