People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
