It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
