are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
