Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
