Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you traded sex for a burrito?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She needs sedatives and a leash
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
