: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I could make wine with my vomit
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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