If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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